Poem

                               The ABC

'Twas midnight in the schoolroom

And every desk was shut

When suddenly from the alphabet

Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;

His manners are a lack.

For all I ever see of C

Is a semi-circular back!"

"I disagree," said D to B,

"I've never found C so.

From where I stand he seems to be

An uncompleted O."

C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,

You criticise my shape.

I'm made like that, to help spell Cat

And Cow and Cool and Cape."

"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"

Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"

"You're dropping me," roared H to G.

"Don't do it please I pray."

"Out of my way," LL said to K.

"I'll make poor I look ILL."

To stop this stunt J stood in front,

And presto! ILL was JILL.

"U know," said V, "that W

Is twice the age of me.

For as a Roman V is five

I'm half as young as he."

X and Y yawned sleepily,

"Look at the time!" they said.

"Let's all get off to beddy byes."

They did, then "Z-z-z."

A Dog's Life

I don't like being me sometimes,

slumped here

on the carpet, cocking my ears

every time someone shuffles or shifts their feet,

thinking could be going walkies or getting grub

or allowed to see

if the cat's left more than a smell

on her plate.

She's never refused, that cat! Sometimes

I find myself

dreaming (twitching my eyes, my fur)

of being just

say half as canny as her, with her pert miaow,

her cheeky tail

flaunting! These people sprawled

in armchairs

gawping at telly, why don't they play ball

with me

or enjoy a good nose-licking, eh?

After a Bath

After my bath

I try, try, try

to wipe myself

till I'm dry, dry, dry.

Hands to wipe

and fingers and toes

and two wet legs

and a shiny nose.

Just think how much

less time I'd take

if I were a dog

        and could shake, shake, shake.                                                                                 Allotment Rose

Why are you sighing - dear Grandad

and why are you smelling that rose?

Why is it special - dear Grandad

and why do your eyelashes close?

What do its words say - dear Grandad

on the stick with the bright orange band?

What are you thinking of - Grandad

and why are you squeezing my hand?

The Animals Went In Two By Two

The animals went in two by two,

Hurrah! Hurrah!

The animals went in two by two,

The elephant and the kangaroo,

And they all went into the ark

For to get out of the rain.

The animals went in three by three,

Hurrah! Hurrah!

The animals went in three by three,

The wasp, the ant and the bumble bee,

And they all went into the ark

For to get out of the rain.

The animals went in four by four,

Hurrah! Hurrah!

The animals went in four by four,

The great hippopotamus stuck in the door,

And they all went into the ark

For to get out of the rain.

The animals went in five by five,

Hurrah! Hurrah!

The animals went in five by five,

They warmed each other to keep alive,

And they all went into the ark

For to get out of the rain.

The animals went in six by six,

Hurrah! Hurrah!

The animals went in six by six,

They turned out the monkey because of his tricks,

And they all went into the ark

For to get out of the rain.

The animals went in seven by seven,

Hurrah! Hurrah!

The animals went in seven by seven,

The little pig thought he was going to heaven,

And they all went into the ark

For to get out of the rain.

Aunti Agnes's Cat

My Auntie Agnes has a cat.

I do not like to tell her that

Its body seems a little large

(With lots of stripes for camouflage).

Its teeth and claws are also larger

Than they ought to be. A rajah

Gave her the kitten, I recall,

When she was stationed in Bengal.

But that was many years ago,

And kittens are inclined to grow.

So now she has a fearsome cat -

But I don't like to tell her that .

Bedtime 

The night comes down on foxes

As they run across the hill,

The night comes down on fallow deer

They wander where they will,

The night comes down on white owls

As they wake in hollow trees

The night comes down on badgers, free

To snuffle where they please,

The night comes down like velvet

On this house, and tenderly,

With starry streams and endless dreams

The night comes down on me.

A City Ditty

Blackout in the buildings,

the big fuse blew;

no electric current,

what will we do?

Can't use the telephone,

can't make toast,

can't use the stereo,

boo, you're a ghost.

Frozen juice cans

getting runny,

frozen meat is

smelling funny.

Traffic signals out

and headlights on the cars,

but what do you know?

We can see the moon and stars.

City Mouse and Garden Mouse

The city mouse lives in a house,

The garden mouse lives in a bower:

He's friendly with the frogs and toads.

And sees the pretty plants in flower. 

The Clown's Last Joke

Whatever became of the clown's red nose?

They found a farewell note

in a bundle of tricks

They found a shaggy eyebrow

under a floppy hat

They found a painted cheek

inside a grinning shoe

They found a rubber ball

between baggy trousers

But they never found the clown's red nose

They pulled out drawers

They turned over sheets

But whatever became of the clown's red nose

only God in heaven knows

The Cold Old House

I know a house, and a cold old house,

A cold old house by the sea.

If I were a mouse in that cold old house

What a cold, cold mouse I'd be.

Combinations

A flea flew by a bee. The bee

To flee the flea flew by a fly.

The fly flew high to flee the bee

Who flew to flee the flea who flew

To flee the fly who now flew by.

The bee flew by the fly. The fly

To flee the bee flew by the flea.

The flea flew high to flee the fly

Who flew to flee the bee who flew

To flee the flea who now flew by .

The fly flew by the flea. The flea

To flee the fly flew by the bee.

The bee flew high to flee the flea

Who flew to flee the fly who flew

To flee the bee who now flew by.

The flea flew by the fly. The fly

To flee the flea flew by the bee

To bee flew high to flee the fly

Who flew to flee the flea who flew

To flee the bee who now flew by

The fly flew by the bee. The fly

To flee the fly flew by the flea

The flea flew high to flee the bee

Who flew to flee the fly who flew

To flee the flea who now flew by.

The bee flew by the flea. The fly

To flee the bee flew by the fly.

The fly flew high to flee the flea

Who flew to flee the bee who flew

To flee the fly who now flew by.

Doggerel

One, Two, what shall I do?

The dog's run off with my new shoe.

Three, Four, out the door

He's done this kind of thing before.

Five, Six, get in a fix

He thinks it's one of his party tricks.

Seven, Eight, in a right old state

He's nipped out the garden gate.

Nine, Ten, I don't know when

I'll ever get it back again!

Dragon

Look very lightly

look that way -

I saw a dragon there

yesterday;

His ears were open,

his eyes were shut,

his scales were as hard

as a coconut.

His body was thick,

his tail was strong,

it stretched round the railings

ten feet long...

His snores were thunderous,

Dark and deep.

He breathed like an engine

in his sleep.

Look through your lashes

faint and small..

Can you see anyone

there at all,

Down by the railings,

way-away?

I saw a dragon there

yesterday.

The Dragon's Birthday Party

It's the dragon's birthday party,

he's ten years old today.

"Come and do your special trick,"

I heard his mother say.

We crowded round the table,

we pushed and shoved to see

as someone brought the cake mix in

and the dragon laughed with glee.

It was just a bowl with flour in

and eggs and milk and that

with ten blue candles round the top

in the shape of Postman Pat.

The dragon took a big deep breath

stood up to his full size

and blew a blast of smoke and flame

that made us shut our eyes.

We felt the air grow hotter

we knew the taste of fear.

I felt a spark fly through the air

and land on my left ear.

But when we looked

make no mistake:

the candles were lit

and the cake was baked.

Dreaming the Unicorn

I dreamed I saw the Unicorn

last night.

It rippled through the forest,

pearly white,

breathing a moonlit silence.

Its single horn

stood shining like a lance.

I saw it toss its head

and snort and prance

and paw the midnight air.

Its mane was like a mass

of silver hair.

But suddenly it shuddered.

It sensed my spellbound gaze,

my wondering eyes,

and turned to look upon me with surprise,

seeming to read my face

and looking as if to say,

"You are not from this place.

What is your business here?"

My mind was far from clear.

I could not think or speak.

Above my head, I heard the branches creak

and then, from where I stood,

I watched it flicker off into the wood,

into the velvet space between the trees.

A sudden rush of rapid midnight breeze,

that felt both chill and deep,

awoke me from my sleep,

and there upon the pillow by my head

I found a strand of shining silver thread.

I kept that strand of mane,

I keep it, still,

inside a box upon my window sill.

And when the world hangs heavy

on my brain,

it helps me dream the Unicorn again.

The Duck and the Kangaroo

Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,

'Good gracious! How you hop!

Over the fields and the water too,

As if you never would stop!

My life is a bore in this nasty pond,

And I long to go out in the world beyond!

I wish I could hop like you!'

Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.

'Please give me a ride on your back!'

Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.

'I would sit quite still, and say nothing but "quack,"

The whole of the long day through!

And we'd go to the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,

Over the land and over the sea;

Please take me a ride! O do!'

Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.

Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,

'This requires some little reflection;

Perhaps on the whole it might bring me luck,

And there seems but one objection,

Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,

Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,

And would probably give me the roo-

Matiz!' said the Kangaroo.

Said the Duck, 'As I sat on the rocks,

I have thought over that completely,

And I bought four pairs of worsted socks

Which fit my web feet neatly.

And to keep out the cold I've bought a cloak,

And every day a cigar I'll smoke,

All to follow my own dear true

Love of a Kangaroo?'

Said the Kangaroo, 'I'm ready!

All in the moonlight pale;

But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady!

And quite at the end of my tail!'

So away they went with a hop and a bound,

And they hopped the whole world three times round;

And who so happy, O who,

As the Duck and the Kangaroo?

Duck's Ditty

All along the backwater,

Through the rushes tall,

Ducks are a-dabbling.

Up tails all!

Ducks' tails, drakes' tails,

Yellow feet a-quiver,

Yellow bills all out of sight

Busy in the river!

Slushy green undergrowth

Where the roach swim

Here we keep our larder,

Cool and full and dim.

Every one for what he likes!

We like to be

Head down, tails up,

Dabbling free!

High in the blue above

Swifts whirl and call

We are down a-dabbling

Up tails all!

Ducks on the Water

Ducks on the water,

quack,

quack,

quack!

Sailing down the river

And then sailing back.

Mother duck leads,

Ducklings behind,

Trim little swimmers

in

a

long

straight

line.

Out of the river,

Into the nest.

Time for the family

To have a rest.

Under her wings

Mother duck tucks

Two little drakes

and

Three little ducks.

Dumb Insolence

I'm big for ten years old

Maybe that's why they get at me

Teachers, parents, cops

Always getting at me

When they get at me

I don't hit em

They can do you for that

I don't swear at em

They can do you for that

I stick my hands in my pockets

And stare at them

And while I stare at them

I think about sick

They call it dumb insolence

They don't like it

But they can't do you for it.

The Egg Song

Peck, peck, peck,

Went the little chick's beak.

Out poked its head

as it took a little peek.

Out stepped its leg.

Out stepped its wing.

Then the fluffy yellow chick

began to sing.

"Take me to the water.

Show me to the seed.

If I'm going to live and grow,

this is what I'll need.

"Then when I'm a chicken,

Feathery and grown,

I can cluck and lay an egg

all of my own."